B’nei Mitzvah Important Information
Mazel Tov! We hope that the following information will assist you in the planning and arranging of the service at which your child becomes Bar/Bat mitzvah at Temple Beth El. Enclosed is a brief overview of a variety of items about which you may have questions. For further detail, please do not hesitate to contact Jaclyn Trustman, Life-Cycle Coordinator, 238-3928 at ext.0, jdubray@bethelnw.org.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date:
Our Bar/Bat Mitzvah date process begins with a communication to our 4th grade families, usually in January/February. Information is gathered to help us avoid conflicts, and then the office privately creates a schedule. Given our abundance of children, dates may be up to 3 months prior to the 13th birthday and can be any time thereafter the birthday. Only children that turn 13 in the fall of their 7th grade year will be given a date in November or December.
All Bar/Bat Mitzvah dates are given out to our 4th grade families at the same time, usually at the end of March. For our new families that join us after their child is past the 4th grade year; possible dates can be discussed, however a date is only confirmed once your family joins the temple.
If you should need to change the date, please use this Change Request Form and we will do our best to accommodate. Our policy allows for families to move dates as needed (up until 9 months before the service date) so long as the students do not attend the same middle school and grade and are not listed as potential conflicts on either family’s original date request forms. Changes are not allowed less than nine months before the B'nei Mitzvah as our students will have already engaged in studies specific to their B'nei Mitzvah date.
Family Education:
To deepen the meaning of the Bar/Bat mitzvah experience, we offer family education programs for grades four through six, followed by our B'nei Mitzvah orientation meeting and check-in meeting within the year. We will inform you of the dates and times as each approach. For all programs, parents and children are expected to attend together.
Fees:
To help you plan ahead, below are the fees you can anticipate over the next few years.
Once your child’s date is confirmed, the temple will send you an invoice for the Bar/Bat mitzvah fee
(Approx. $2650/morning & $3650/afternoon). This fee covers, but is not limited to family education, B'nei Mitzvah orientation meeting and check-in meeting, tutoring, individual meetings with the rabbi and cantor, and the service. The Bar/Bat mitzvah fee will be billed to your account today and is due in full 18 month prior to the BM date.
As the Shabbat of your child’s Bar/Bat mitzvah constitutes a celebration for our entire community, we ask each family to support the congregation’s Shabbat offerings. To that end, in the July preceding your child’s Bar or Bat mitzvah service, a fee (of approx. $800) will be added to your statement to subsidize the Friday night congregational Oneg reception and the weekend’s sanctuary flowers. In addition, a security fee of $180 will be due to help us cover the guards on duty during your service.
Requirements:
In order to become a Bar or Bat mitzvah, your child will need to be enrolled and attending Religious School, and thus your family must be a member in good standing of the temple. Your total financial commitment must be paid in full 90 days prior to the service. If your child has a date in September or October your membership, renewal must be completed and paid by the end of July.
Ushering:
It is extremely important that we have enough ushers at all our B’nei Mitzvah services. In order to provide this coverage the Worship Committee will ask all parents to usher at two Saturday services.
Service Times:
Children become Bar/Bat mitzvah as part of our congregational worship service. Please note that your child will most likely be paired with another student, but we will do our best to avoid known conflicts.
Our worship time will be at 10:00 am. A Saturday afternoon service at 5:00 pm may be available
on the 1st or 3rd weekends of the month between Simchat Torah (often in October) and April 1st, (as the actual sunset does not occur until far later after this date). There is a supplemental fee for an afternoon service to offset our additional expenses.
If you would like to change your child’s, service date or time, please fill out a change of date form and return it to Jaclyn Trustman.
Receptions:
We are delighted to offer our beautiful social hall for your private reception. Whether you are planning a small family lunch or a larger party, we hope you will consider using the temple’s facilities. Please contact Carmen Stevens, cstevens@bethelnw.org in the temple office if you would like more information or to schedule a tour.
Photography:
The sanctuary can be reserved for your family photographs by sending Jaclyn an e-mail, jdubray@bethelnw.org. On Saturdays, we have time slots for photographs: 8:15 am to 9:00 am & 9:00 am to 9:45 am or 3:15 pm to 4:00 pm & 4:00 pm to 4:45 pm. Other days and times are available as well. This year a photographer can stay during services provided that they stay in the back of the Sanctuary with no flash and don’t make noise.
Click here for current Temple Beth El Guidelines for Photographers.
Videography:
A videographer is allowed to be in the sanctuary provided they are stationary at the back of the room and don’t’ cause any distraction.
Follow Up/Appointments:
If you have any questions or if you would like to set up an appointment with a member of our clergy please contact Jaclyn Trustman, Life-Cycle Coordinator, 238-3928 at ext.0 and at jdubray@bethelnw.org. For facility, information please contact
Carmen Stevens, cstevens@bethelnw.org.
